Saturday, March 18, 2006

New Life, and New Civilizations

Two weeks. Tuesday was our two week anniversary of hospital living. Sixteen days in the hospital, four floors, twenty five nurses, five nurse practitioners, three anesthesiologists, six therapists and two social workers ago, I wouldn’t have understood where all the hospital bill money goes, but I’m starting to understand.

I had basically lost my sense of humor and gratefulness about the whole hospital thing today. The weekend staff has come on, and we have to get used to yet another set of personalities and ways of doing things, and I just don’t want to. I want to take my baby and go home to our old life.

It’s hard to explain to people what living in the hospital is like. Scott and I were flipping through the channels the other night, and the prow of the Starship Enterprise flipped past.
It’s like that, maybe – like living on a spaceship. There’s the uniformed crew, the dimly-lit, humming instruments that we’re not allowed to touch, the food of questionable source.

Then there’s the sense, as passengers, that our destination is entirely out of our hands. The unfriendly truth for us right now is that there is no taking the baby anywhere yet, and there is no life as we knew it.

When I saw him this morning, Thomas was wiggly and thoroughly interested in what was going on around him, but he wasn’t smiling as much as usual. There were discussions about secretions and pain meds and withdrawal. I started to wonder what the heck else could possibly be wrong with him.

You know what’s funny, though? It was because he’s teething. He’s drooly and a little fussy because he’s cutting a couple teeth. I saw their little buds on his gums this afternoon as he was trying to gnaw on my finger. We gave him some Tylenol and he was his old self.

It’s breathtaking. All I can think about is brain cancer and here this guy is growing teeth like it’s no big deal.


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13 Comments:

At 5:28 PM, Blogger jB said...

You guys are in my thoughts, prayers, and dreams each day. I love you more than you know, and we will figure out a way to assist.

jB

 
At 10:00 PM, Anonymous Vivian said...

Sarah, Scott and Precious Thomas,

You are all in our thoughts and prayers. All of your aunts and uncles here are very concerned about all of you. We will be sending a little help each month. We love you very much. This is a great way to keep everyone up to date. LOVE XOXOXO, Aunt Vivian and Aunt Recie

 
At 11:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you don't know us but we are praying for you. Your babe is beautiful and no doubt an angel. You have a true angel in your presence.

 
At 10:53 AM, Anonymous Sandy said...

I love you all.

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger Ronee said...

Meemaw said Hi,to the three of you. I love and miss seeing you all. My prayers are always with each of you. Thomas, Meemaw loves you sweethoney. MOM

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Ronee said...

Meemaw said... I love and miss you three. My heart and prayers are with you. Thomas, Meemaw, loves you sweethoney. Love Mom

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger dalene said...

Thomas, you're precious so precious! I haven't seen you in person yet, and I can't wait until I do. I'm praying for you, for your Mom and Dad (you have amazing parents) and for your Grandma, who is my bestest friend - MalPal. She'll tell you about me, and that we know a BIG, Powerful, Caring Heavenly Father that is with you each and every moment. I love you, Thomas.

 
At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish I knew something to say to ease your pain...but, the words just aren't coming. So, we'll just say that we want you to know that you are in our prayers & our thoughts. Thomas' smile is missed at The Peanut Gallery... Chet & family

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Kellee said...

We love you & are praying our little hearts out. Please let us know what we can do to help.

Hugs & Love,
~Kellee

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you dont know me, but I wish with all my heart that Thomas will strive forward with a wonderful fulfilling life. You are only tested with what you can handle. You are all blessed to have such an angel with you. Thomas and Family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Bless you.

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We read your article in the paper and it touched us especially becuase our son had abdominal surgery when he was 2 days old. We clearly remember the countless hours in the hospital and all the days running toghether. We pray for Thomas' complete recovery.

 
At 6:25 AM, Blogger Liz said...

You guys don't know me, but I wanted to post a brief

 
At 9:26 AM, Blogger Liz said...

You guys don't know me, but I am just back from a week-long stay at the St. Louis Children's Medical center, staying with my 6-yr-old niece during her chemo. It's a scary thing, and each step along the way has it's own ups and downs. It is interesting how the different microcosms of life exist when you live at a hospital. The 'cycles' of activity, the schedules, the personalities, the 'roommates', and so forth. :) I watched a snow storm from the 9th floor window this week. Only thing I physically felt was the cold in my windowseat/cushion/bed--like being in a different universe, or watching remotely from a heavenly perch. I was there, but not there. Hang in there, and good luck. Our prayers will expand to include your lovely family. Here are some thing we've found to ease our hospital stays (you've probably already figured these out, but here goes): 1. bring your own pillow and blanket. 2. Get out, frequently...even put a trusted family member there for a day or two during less critical times. Cancer in my experience is a marathon, not a sprint...don't wear yourselves out initially...use the wonderful family resources it seems you have to pace yourselves (may seem funny at first, tho). It really helps the perspective to detach yourself on occassion. 3. bring your own food. :) 4. Run the stairs when you can instead of using the elevators. 5. If having too many visitors, send them home so you can snatch naps when you can...there will be times when you can't. 6. Make friends with the other families when you can.

The best to you and you family!

 

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