Sunday, July 27, 2008

gloom and loom

This week was terrible for Thomas. Like last week, but with more restlessness and more moments of real discomfort.

It's been hard on us. We try to take breaks, to get off the couch where Thomas sits for some period of time, but what is there to do?

I go to Target, Taco Cabana, the garden store. Eventually, I wander into my friends' homes or evenings at the pub and ...I don't even wander. I loom. I say unconnected things and when I realize that I'm not making sense, the effort of imagining trying to connect the dots exhausts me.

Cancer has finally disrupted the last bits and pieces that made up our family routine. The bath, the bedtime book - it's like Thomas was humoring us the last few weeks, knowing how much these gifts of parenting mean to us, but now he's done. He's too exhausted, too sensitive. He'll start to color, and then stop.

Even on these tough days, though, Thomas has perked up for our daily Cars* viewing, and for the early part of visits. He's still a show off... or maybe he's just tired of us looming.




*seriously, Cars? Great movie. has to be - I've seen it 8 times now (not including the 3 times in Spanish when we were in the hospital) and I still like it.


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9 Comments:

At 9:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peace and Blessings Sarah and Scott and Thomas!

David (Fiske)
aka K8 Hammonds Brother-In-Law

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger Ctelblog said...

Enjoy the bits when he's able to enjoy. Just be there for him for the bits he's not. You're not looming at him, you're being there.

Friend's will undertand the disconnectedness. Making sense is waaaaaaay over-rated.

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger Lynn said...

Have you shown Thomas "Mater and the Ghost Light"? It's funny, and short.

Prayers to you. Hugs to Thomas.

 
At 4:44 AM, Blogger Mel said...

Ctel's right. Especially with your friends Sarah. Since when is making sense any kind of prerequisite? "Cars"...is awesome...Loom away.

 
At 9:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for everything you are going through and especially for Thomas. What a raw deal he got. I wish him comfort, peace and as much love as he can handle.

My heart is just broken.

Love,
Ashleigh
(A friend of Kaitlin's)

 
At 3:41 AM, Blogger Monkey Momma said...

Sarah, I never know what to say, as I know it will always be the wrong thing and I don't want to make you hurt anymore. But please know that you are in my thoughts almost daily. I come back frequently for updates. I love seeing new pics of Thomas and I love reading your thoughts...

A

 
At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can you possibly be expected to make sense when caught up in this cruel irony of life and love?
Thank you for continuing to update all of us about your family's remarkable journey. I hope you and Scott can take some solace in the care and concern of others.

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger KJ said...

hello.

I'm a friend of Gentiles in Austin. It's 5:00 on The 31st and I've heard your news. My heart is heavy for you. The only thing I know for sure, from my own experience, is that in this moment God is both real and present. I pray for that truth to bring you comfort.

love and blesings.
Kellye

 
At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Angel Jeffery, CPhT said...

I am very sad to hear of Thomas passing. Your family is in my thoughts. It is nice to hear that with Community Hospice, we at Texas Healthcare Pharmacy helped make his life happier and less painful. I wish your family much love and peace. With deepest sympathy,
Angel Jeffery, CPhT
Texas Healthcare Pharmacy

 

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